Justice versus conscience

Bill Gates asking for privacy is the most ironic joke I have ever heard.

I love how he tells jokes in a totally deadpan way

I remember reading a story of a couple who were ‘celebrating’ their 50th wedding anniversary. With the whole family and several friends, the wife declared that she was filing for divorce. She had put up with her husband for 50 years and was NOT going to do it one more day!

They didn’t “give away” any money. They invested it under the guise of philanthropy.

As always, your analysis is highly informed… yet neutral of judgement. Considering Melinda’s media statements. Regarding Bill’s association with Epstein. Your dry humor still kills me…& thank you for that. In particular … “I saw a picture of that car once”. Brilliant as always, Dr Grande.

I thought that Bill’s refusal to listen to Melinda’s concerns about Jeffrey Epstein would have been problematic.

I wonder if they tried to turn their marriage off, unplug it and plug it back in before they called the repairman.

Them: All we ask is for space and privacy. Us: Sure, just as soon as you take the spyware out of Windows.

I’m on my second marriage 13 years this year and my advice to you if you’re not happy find someone who treats you like the special human you really are. Life is too short to stay in an unhappy marriage. It’s called a mistake.

There seems to be plenty of support in our culture for exiting a bad relationship but not for how to get through rough patches together.

Seems to me like 20 – 25 years is a risky time for couples. I had a gray divorce and it was after 20 years of marriage. Hard to say what caused it, but we did have severe family losses right before, and we moved to another state and lived in the mountains, and we had a lot of changes all at once. But there were problems with our marriage from the beginning, so hard to pinpoint a real cause. But it was abusive for me in the end, which has made recovery for me hard as well.

My parents had a very turbulent marriage. The only time I remember them having a stable marriage was when my mother volunteered to go back to work. Their mutual goal was to pay off the house so her entire paycheck was sent as additional house payment. I even remember my father clearing her car of snow in the morning despite the fact that he left for work at 6:30 am and my mother did not have to leave until 9:30 am. After they achieved their goal it went back to business as usual.

“…But what they want is actually beyond of capabilities of money ” Great analysis Dr.Grande!Thank you!

The best dead pan comedy on YouTube bar none. Love the content in all it’s aspects, thanks Dr.Grande!

Money can’t buy character, class, integrity, honesty or fidelity. Clearly, Mr Gates is the shining example of this.

Grey divorce is when you have raised kids and after they leave the nest you look at each other and are completely different people. Well this is my take on it.

Best episode ever. You were kind to Bill and Melinda, yet able to make funny, funny jokes. Alien-Space-Lizards always makes for an engaging conversation topic.

It’s just an excuse to break up their assets without suspicion. They have enough houses to live separate lives and never see each other already.

You don’t mention the narcissist possibility. I am going through a grey divorce right now, realizing there was never an intimate connection. Long term marriage, childhood sweethearts. I call it gaslighting myself into the fairy tale…

“Lawyers are the only guaranteed winners in a divorce”–Dr Grande

Option 4 was the driving force behind my divorce, although neither of us wanted to admit it. We suddenly realized there wasn’t anything more to reach for and had nothing else in common. Starting out fresh again gave me a new enthusiasm for life!

My grey divorce happened after 17 years, and it was because I didn’t want to accept that I was in a verbally and emotionally abusive marriage. Once my therapist shed some light on this, I had to get out.

What life has taught me is that in any divorce there are only two people who know what really happened and what the true cause is. I believe that any married couple will face separation of drive, interests and ideals and come to nearly irreconcilable differences. So staying married comes down to a level of commitment and morality concerning the concept of marriage. Today there is no backlash in people social and family circles over divorce thus that pressure serves no longer to remain people in marriages. We ALL need a re-evaluation of what marriage means in this changed times. I overheard 4 women talking during a cocktail hours. One of them said that marriage, today, is a 5 year concept. You enjoy doing things with a person and being together with common interests, so you get married. After 5 years the interests and direction of both have changed, so you divorce and merry some one new with whom you share interests at that time…for another 5 years. Rinse and repeat. I was chocked when I heard this but I am not to judge the life and outlook of this woman who I don’t know. Question is; why would she get married, given tradition purposes and meaning of the institution? Over the years I have seen the morality of Bill Gates’s actions severely falter! To alarming levels, in my opinion. It is hard to remain with a person who’s convictions and actions are hard to support.

My husband also passed away —it was the second marriage for both of us and both of our first marriages were longer than six years. We had 36 joyous years together so don’t give up.

In public interviews, Melinda holds her tongue. She has been holding the line on a lot of lies. Bill is like tiger, not at all who he appears to be, yet the power he wants rests partly on the image.

“It is easier to go thru the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to go to Heaven”.

Sometimes there is no understanding of the situation. I was divorced after 27 years. First marriage for both of us. We were high-school sweethearts. She hooked up with one of my employees. She initiated the divorce. I begged her to reconsider. I know she regrets it but you can’t unscramble an egg.

When the respect goes, it’s hard to move on.

Only Dr Grande can throw mega shade at an alien-lizard man in the middle of a divorce.

Dr G, love your straight faced humour! Still laughing over your dating advice. “You may want to avoid serial killers, just in all areas…”

I heard that in their divorce, Melinda got the house, but Bill kept the Windows…

I truly love dr. Grande’s sarcasm and dark humor in this video! Hahahaha

“Gray Divorce” is just a term to group up people into categories thrown out there by people that have no idea what average people live like. Divorce happens at any age for many different reasons. Mostly because people are either selfish, or stupid, and those conditions aren’t mutually exclusive to each other.

Oh Dr. G! “The autonomous killer robots that undoubtedly patrol Xanadu 2.0…” Priceless. I just love your dry wit, deadpan face, and hidden sarcasm. You make me laugh almost every day and we all need a bit of levity in this day and age!

She saw him shapeshift for the first time and it scared the crap out of her.

One of my neighbours have been married 50 years and when they first met each other one had 10 dollars and the other had 15 dollars and even today they jokingly accuse each other of marrying them for there money!

Great analysis. The last point is most salient. Having it all yet needing diversity via a challenge/change. Thank you as always Dr. Grande and congratulations on your successful marriage and family.

Well said, Dr. Big, and you could very well be right. I’ve amassed quite a bit of wealth these past few months, and I’ve never felt this empty and senseless, even confused at times. It’s as if my “raison d’être” for struggling has left me.

Man, I usually never audibly laugh at anything but you really understand my funny bone Dr. Grande. Thanks for the great content as always.

I’m middle aged, single, and lonely as hell. However my parents went through a nasty divorce which I know mentally affected me, and most of the couples I know are in relationships that I do not envy. But I’m lonely as hell. However I do not want the mess and nastiness I have witnessed. I don’t even know what to do.

I never thought someone can make me feel sorry for billionaires.

LOL. At 5:13 Dr.Grande compares himself to Bill Gates, “he drives a Porsche 959; I once saw a picture of one. He invented Windows; I use Windows on my computer. Some think he’s an alien lizard humanoid; that’s one of my favorite topics.” This wasn’t exactly a direct quote, but close enough.

People grow apart sometimes. Especially if there is a third party. Yearly vacations with ex girlfriends can be a catalyst for change.

Read that when they were dating, Melinda saw a whiteboard in Bill’s bedroom with a list of the pros and cons of getting married. I hope Melinda then returned the favor with her own board listing the pros and cons of staying married!

Another item for your list of possibles is tax avoidance. Think about that in light of our country’s current situation and our need to have the wealthy begin to pay their fair share. The loopholes are still in place and there are quite a few taking advantage of them.

Wow, you certainly don’t look old enough to be married 27 years. That’s awesome. As always, your dry sense of humor is priceless!

She’s getting to the point in her life where she’s no longer ‘ok’ with being with a man who will always love another woman more than her. The kids are grown and will be all right. She’s finally seeing her value.

doc will always find a way to be sarcastic and we love it !

I wondered about their marriage after I saw the documentary “Inside Bill’s Brain” It appears she is just as intelligent as he is, she is well educated, she didn’t see him as her only good option for a partner. She mentioned not getting the credit she deserved for her work with their foundation and it was brought to her attention that she was always “behind the scenes” and needed to do more speeches etc. She mentioned how lonely it was raising 2 small children in a marble , glass home Bill built while he was always working. Maybe she thought “I’ll have someone to spend my life with when Bill leaves Microsoft..I’ll have someone to spend my life with when the kids are in college and we start traveling…I’ll have a partner when we travel the World to eradicate Polio..then came Covid and that stopped…he is a workaholic..she isn’t! She’s done!

Listening to Your calm , well thought through analysis was quite refreshing and personally very helpful. Thank you.

Melinda has been working on this Divorce for 2 years … the Attorneys are loving it !!

Divorces are not necessarily failures, and it always bugs me a little when it’s referred to in that way. Clearly they had a ‘successful’ marriage and divorcing does not negate that success. If it’s what they both want, then where’s the ‘failure’?

In an interview with Melinda once she said before he asked her to marry him she fond out early because he had a list of pros and cons of marriage written down and she saw it. He’s SO melotical and and I imagine that could be difficult in a marriage especially if she 8s the creative one. I feel just because they are divorcing, they still will be so involved in all their works.

“Bill owns a Porsche 959, I once saw a picture of one” If I learned to use such comparisons, I would be the happiest man in the world

If they are both happier being seperate and no one is getting hurt, they have both reached a happier place to enjoy the future. If they were n’t both rich nobody would bat an eye lid.

“Don’t let my haircut fool you, I’m actually quite wealthy.” -Bill Gates on The Simpsons

Thank you, Dr. Grande. I have to admit I was VERY surprised when I heard this news the other day. I appreciate your analysis.

Phoebe, Bill and Melinda’s youngest child turned 18 in September 2020. My guess is at that time Melinda went to Bill and started working out the contract for their divorce. Once Phoebe turned 18, there were no custody issues so it made sense to wait until that time. After the specifics of their divorce were worked out (which would take a number of months or even a year because of their immense assets plus no pre-nup) they officially filed for divorce. Realistically speaking, I’m sure the marriage has been over for a long time. This is all conjecture on my part, but it makes sense. These situations are all about negotiation. The uber rich live different lives than the average person.

I’m dead. I like you so much more because of this video. So dry, sooo hilarious.

#5 All the kids are grown up and out of the house and you find out that you and your spouse no longer have anything in common. One parent, usually the mother, has spent so much time with taking the kids to and fro, that you didn’t spend time keeping the marriage alive. You don’t like the same music, movies, friends and activities. It’s an empty feeling.

I am always impressed by how quickly you respond to topical issues

IMO the main cause of divorce is selfishness. Instead of placing emphasis on what makes us “happy”, i think the emphasis should be on what brings meaning to our life and a good way to find meaning is to be useful, esp to others

I always find it funny how these kinds of situations are amicable.. attorneys get involved and court dates are set.

I find it sad when long term marriages end. They are a lot of hard work if they are meaningful, & quite rare in this day & age. Best of luck to both of them in their lives going forward.️

Dr Grande we definitely need a follow up video discussing alien lizard humanoids and marriage.

After being married for so many yearsYou would think you know what you want it’s there when you realize the things are not what you thought they were

Excellent, measured analysis. And, moreover, you touched upon something at the end that, I believe, showed you to be quite perceptive. Life consists primarily of pursuing, not in achieving, one’s goals or what Jefferson referred to as the pursuit of happiness. Now that both Gates had climbed their mountain, the marriage lost its spark. And, therefore, one or both probably needed a new challenge, a new incitement to achieve. And that requires a fresh start. (I am assuming that infidelity or spousal abuse are not factors.)

I feel sad for Melinda, Bill and their children. Divorce is difficult. I wish them well.

After the announcement of their divorce, what really struck me were the years and years of pictures with saccharine smiles of them together.

You can have all the money in the world and be still trying to figure out Love.

There is an odd phenomenon I have noticed a number of times regarding older couples. In each instance the wife was not a very active person nor was her husband; they were just an old couple. Following the husbands death, the wife comes alive (after a brief mourning period), goes out more, becomes more social, and just seems to enjoy herself. Not, I’m sure, relevant to the Gates’s divorce but interesting. The brief mourning period could be due to the fact that they were in their later years so death wasn’t a big surprise. But I did speculate that perhaps seemingly contented marriages relied a lot on the wife suppressing herself to accommodate the family….

Let’s just Hope that Melinda will not disappear or founds dead somewhere. She seems to know TOO MUCH about BG & that can be too risky for Him to let her Go Away like that so easy

Thanks Doctor Todd Grande. Agreed that Bill has a brilliant mind, very imaginative and very productive. That unfortunately gave him an alter ego to the extent that he went and sired a son with his Chinese interpreter. Melinda on the other hand is the saving grace, she gave Bill every opportunity to own up his error and come to terms. Bill deserves our sympathy but no more.

Damn man, that’s deep. At least I now feel less bad about not being a billionaire!

Oh, I think there’s much more to this; Bill picked Melinda for her brain, and then he drained it dry.

Dr.Grande opted for shade in this video because boy he kept them coming, talking about Microsoft robots and needing updates every two days!…Good one Dr!

I don’t know when Bill sprung the whole, “I’m going to be spending time alone with my ex-girlfriend at a cottage for a spell every year” thing on Linda but if she knew about it before hand, she literally sold her soul for money. I wouldn’t care how much money a man had, I wouldn’t have put up with that—ever. I had the opportunity to marry a man who was very wealthy (not to the extent of Bill Gates) and I did entertain the idea of marrying him for about a minute but I’d had the opportunity to see the kind of person he was, how he lived his life and what his values were and I thought that there wasn’t enough money in the world to make be put up with that. I could have had an easy life with a big beautifully furnished home and someone to cook and clean while I spent my days getting my hair and nails done whilst spending his money at Saks but the whole idea made me feel alone before I even said, “I do.”

Amazing analysis! Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this

Perhaps Bill spent an entire week with his old girlfriend last year and it was more then Melinda could put up with? Good god who caresTheir divorce reasons are probably the same as everyone else’s. Either one or both of them was sick to death of the other and tired of being disappointed with the person across the dinner table. .

People grow and change over that many years. And then you wake up and realize you are retired ( well maybe not them) with someone you don’t even really know anymore. You want different things in life. It is a brave thing to do to move on at that point in life.

I had a sneaky suspicion this would happen after watching an interview with Melinda where she complained about women’s equality in the world by reporting that she made bill drive the kids to school equally with her since as we all know she is the genius in the family such that Bill’s time ought to be spent operating a vehicle for transport rather than solving the world’s problems.

You unexpectedly have a wry sense of humour – really enjoyed this. Thanks.

I never heard the term ‘Gray Divorce’-and certainly never thought I’d be convinced Bill & Melindas life is boring.

Your under the radar humor is divine!!

I’m more interested in thoughts revolving around how and WHY the wealthy choose the manners of disposal of their wealth to their children. I’m not referring to specific alternatives, but the Gates have been surprisingly vocal about their preferences regarding their children. I can’t help but be concerned about issues of children’s aptitude and interests as well as typical parental continuing concern for their well-being.

Sheesh – these people don’t live in our world but they hold the keys to improve it, no? Love Dr. Grande btw

Thank you, Dr. G.; very helpful. The statistics about divorce were eye-opening. When you’re older, you’d better do your homework before marrying again and serious/”semi-illegal” surveillance may be the only way!

First, love your dry humor. I think when a couple have this much money to over see and are involved in outside interests, such as their charities, they really do not spend enough time together and grow distant. They start not seeing themselves as a couple and become less involved in each other’s lives. Eventually they get to a point of I don’t know who you are.

Whenever the Gateses would show up on a panel, they always looked so happy to be together, almost flirtatious. When Belinda recently said they so seldom even see each other, I realized those panels were date nights for the couple. My guess is the Epstein issue is the elephant in the room and there could be more about Bill’s involvement than we know.

Maybe their decision is a combination of several or all the reasons mentioned. Thank you for another fair and sensitive analysis with an amazing sense of humor!

I love your sense of humor. It adds to your always brilliant analysis. Keep up the great work!

Your understated sense of irony is classic.

Melinda played the long game: marry the simp and take half his money in the end. And being evil, Bill deserved it.

Hi there Dr Grande – watch a lot on your channel – couldn’t find the best place to request your analysis of an older case that stays with me – the murder of Catherine Woods and Paul Cortez who was found guilty of her murder. I do believe they jailed the right person but periodically there are appeals and her friend and sometime partner had the finger pointed at him too. It was a horrible murder so if you could review – you could start with the documentary ‘Death of a Dream’. Thanks

People are living longer and are healthier than ever at a more advanced age. I think once the kids are all grown up, some people simply want a chance at a second life with a different partner.

Bahaha I’m loving the dry humor in this video. Good work Dr. Grande!

After watching inside bill’s brain and reading some articles about the couples history, I speculate that they were not able to spend enough time together. I imagine with how much time Bill wants to focus working on global issues, that he may not tend to their relationship enough. There may be a different factor or a combination of things but that’s my takeaway.

clever woman. She wants to be far from this man when they come with forks for him

Or perhaps we are all living so much longer now that staying with one partner for life is just unrealistic.

I admire you even more now that your sense of humor has surfaced. Love it.

Love the dry sense of humor Dr. hope you have a wonderful day!

Time will tell, but I am suspicious of the true nature of this divorce. It’s quite possible it’s for political influence reasons, as now they can each donate more (i.e. buy more influence) as individuals than they could as a couple. Wouldn’t surprise me if they maintained whatever degree of personal relationship they’ve always had.

I love your sense of humour so much, Dr. Grande!

So Billy wants privacy. The same man who has been invading mine my whole life.

Let your heart be where your treasure is. As a man thinketh in his heart so is he.

With all due respect of your analysis, one of the major reasons for divorce in this age group if the woman files (which Melinda did) is because they start analyzing their life and realize they have things they want to do while there is still time. Bill didn’t value Melinda’s input enough; he didn’t respect her contributions to the foundation that has both their names on it enough; he didn’t cherish or support and encourage her ambitions enough and not even $130B is enough to convince a smart, ambitious woman to stay – that’s why Melinda left. I know it’s never been publicly confirmed but Bill so has Asperger’s – just look at videos of how he interacts or how he stims himself by rocking. Melinda has given interviews about some disagreements between them and if you know what a neurodiverse/neurotypical partnership often looks like, those interviews left a bigger trail of bread crumbs behind than Hansel and Gretel. Sure, she probably wasn’t thrilled to be associated with that creep Epstein or Bill’s weekends away once a year but those are just details because they all have the same detail in common – lack of respect or value of her opinions and insight. The alien lizard can only think logically, not from a theory of mind on how their actions might be felt by someone else. She just simply got tired of putting up with it and losing her individual identity in the process. One day, a strong, independent woman like her wakes up and says, “What has happened to me? Where did I go? I want my authentic self back”, puts on her most impressive high heels and kicks he who has been holding her back, to the curb. That’s my take on it.

Sorry rewind there, “after they were married, Bill used to spend a long weekend every year with his old girlfriend” annual rebooting of the marriage, unbelievable, good man Bill! I wonder if she was back in the picture just before the divorce proceedings started in 2019?

Hey Doc I love every one of your videos. They are so educating and shine light on a myriad issues. Could you please do a video on Teas Holliday claiming she has Anorexia Nervosa. Teas Holiday is a morbidly obese fat acceptance HAES proponent who recently caused waves after coming out as being an anorexic in recovery.

They just want to be able to sell their stocks without it rousing suspicion and causing the value to fall

When one reaches a certain age and the children have left the house one looks around and notices that life, which was so busy up to now, is suddenly completely quiet and empty. At that moment one looks at one’s life partner and realizes that he/she has changed and that is when the idea of a separation enters the room.

Watched Dr Grande’s video marking his 700k subscribers. Was surprised and a little concerned at the hours he devotes to his channel. Here I learn he has been married 27 years ( again congratulations) and has three children. Either the time he devotes to his channel keeps his marriage fresh or perhaps he should be worried….? Wishing you all the best from the UK.

Big part of why divorce rate goes down as years go by is that the couple have acquired assests together, and spliting them would result in both people having a significantly lowered lifestyle

I recall in one of my industrial psych grad courses learning that money is a dissatisfier but not a satisfier. When people do not earn enough money they are dissatisfied but if the work itself is not satisfying more money cannot make it so. I dont know the stats on work satisfaction anymore and it may have changed but I was mostly very happy as a professor of psychology and as an administrator. I went into administration after I was widowed bec. the opportunity arose and I needed to make more money to replace my husbands income so I could give my daughter the opportunites I wanted her to have. I liked designing and building new programs and respresenting the university in the communit1y serving on many boards as part of my job….womens abuse centers, Hospice, the Chamber of Commerce and others but I did not enjoy the internal politics that went with it. Some organizations are healthy and collegial while others are like a bad marriage…broken and hard to fix. Hope you are enjoying your career Todd.

It’s #4: Bill and Melinda Gates have so much property, that they weren’t living together, anyways. The old cliche, “Long distance relationships never work out”, certainly applies…

Remember the old : “Money can’t buy you love” Thanks for sharing

Melinda seems to be the only one who has remained true to herself. It’s not the length of the marriage but the depth of the hurt.

I think you have omitted one very simple possible reason .They simply don’t like each other . Or one of them stopped liking the other to the point that it became unbearable .

Sounds to me that they are trying to protect at least half their wealth.

Dr. Grande you seriously cracked me up…thank you, I needed it

This level of relationship is something us stupids can’t even conceive.

His wife was ok with with him spending a week each year with another woman sounds like there were already issues.

Hello again Dr. Grande!!️ The end of your analysis regarding boredom and shaking things up as to reasonings of why they’re divorcing…….. RANG TRUE TO ME big time! Spot on.

Sometimes having too much money makes other things in love have less value.

As someone who has very wealthy relatives, this is a good assessment as to what having all that money does. It’s also what fuels delinquency in affluent youth. People say they want to be rich, but they don’t understand what it does to you. Believe it or not, sometimes struggling to get by can be the happiest most cherished days of your life. ‘’Having it all’’ means not having the thrill of attaining, which is, ironically, why people have the tendency to wish for such a life (to have the thrills).

5 minutes into your monologue I hit subscribe. Hope to hear more from you. Add edit: I think your last theory is right on the money.